When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me,
Everything’s alright,
When you’re right here by my side,
When you look me in the eyes.

Here it comes.

My body is tightening, becoming rigid, my eyes rolling back, my arms and legs shaking as if something were throttling me from inside, the froth at the corners of my mouth, white. Then the drowsiness, the frightening disorientation, the incoherent mumbling.

Oh, I apologise! I thought I heard someone mention the Jonas Brothers.

The trio who clinched fame and wealth almost overnight has emerged as one of the world’s major pop music sensation. With a recent nomination as Best New Artist at the 51st Grammy Awards, the Jonas Brothers are also familiar faces on Disney Channel. It may seem as little wonder that the brothers who are currently experiencing an endless streak of success have effortlessly captured the hearts of many. However, it is not the case for this critic who clearly is not a fan of the Jonas Brothers.

Actors act. Dancers dance. Jonas Brothers – “princes” of pop music?

As I glance at the astronomical amount of fans the trio has at their beck and call, I sincerely applaud them for 99% of this figure consists of seven to thirteen year olds. In true fact, the Jonas Brothers remind me of the Jackson 5, who as the world should know, was a phenomenon during its time. Both groups share certain similarities: firstly, the uncanny afro hairstyle, secondly the endless popularity and well, that’s about it. As a fan of the Jackson 5, I stand for all fans when I say that they indeed possess magnificent vocals. On the other hand, I experience the same pleasure listening to the Jonas Brothers sing as much as I enjoy the soothing melodies my nails make against a horribly rough texture.

Ahhhh... The pretty faces of the Jonas Brothers are often the talk of the town. Die-hard fans swooning over the suave trio is clearly not an abnormality. In fact many have quipped that the charming trio are indeed a blinding phenomenon. Personally I agree in every sense of the word that the Jonas Brothers are indeed blinding. Their ability to successfully marry fashion with music has constantly been complimented. I am personally greatful towards the Jonas Brothers for they have shown me to be appreciative of the abundant amount of cloth my pants are made out of.

As I graciously listened to their single ‘ Infatuation’ in which the chorus was sung in Japanese, their creativity is indeed commendable. Although I could not figure out the reason why I suddenly had an enormous dislike for sushi soon after, I truly admire the brothers for their charitable efforts. The Jonas Brothers should be complimented for donating 10% of their earnings to charity. It is not often that one finds such gestures of philanthropy.

The oohs and aahs, the awe and adulation for their brotherly love have been passed. But one has to remember that the Jonas Brothers are part of Disney Channel after all. Correct me if I’m wrong but one should suspect tinges of a gimmick, right?

As the rest of the world seems to be engulfed in the Jonas Brothers Mania, I am definitely certain of one thing. Should I ever come across the trio, even in the near future, I promise never to be intrigued by them even if they look me in the eyes.

Article by Nur Diyanah Khamis