There are two types of movies, in my opinion, that people generally look forward to. First, there is the type which offers thrilling suspense, leading viewers on to believe in a supposed plot, only to catch them by their toes and shock them in utter disbelief at the very end. The other type, however, revolves around inevitable plots with almost predictable outcomes. Nevertheless, it is this type that engages viewers, including this writer, in full pleasure. The reason simply being: that my predictions (usually accurate) award me with a certain sense of intellectual authority.

As long as whichever world she picks isn't mine

As such, this writer is certainly looking forward to watching the Hannah Montana Movie that will be released in Singapore on 4th June 2009. I have since categorized the movie under the second type, especially when I personally consider the Hannah Montana series to be thriving on clichéd and exaggerated storylines. The series that airs on Disney Channel features Miley Stewart who leads a double life as a teenager by day and by night, a singing sensation named Hannah Montana. I shall now proceed to give my predictions for the movie which have an almost 100 % of being correct.

Can you see the many similarities?

1) First of all, the movie will begin with a scene where Miley’s struggle with safeguarding her real identity and her impulses to reveal it at the same time becomes entirely overwhelming for the teenager, so much so that I will expect her to resemble the great schizophrenic Gollum of the Lord of the Rings, almost quipping “The ring is mine!”

Miley and Billy Cyrus

2) The movie will then continue with Miley transforming into an obnoxious celebrity to a point where her father (played by Billy Cyrus), has to intervene to bring her back to Earth. However, I applaud Miley Cyrus. Not only has she been able to make a name for herself but she managed to bring her father aboard on the bandwagon, saving the once famous country singer who never made a comeback from one of those “where are the 80’s superstars now” show.

An angry Miley at the Oscar Awards 2009

3) And of course, the only way to do so is to bring Miley back to her hometown in Tennessee, where designers shoes are being replaced by grazing cows and fancy limousines by neighing horses. The movie will continue with Miley being extremely infuriated with her father to a point I may fear that I was watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Lucas Till, who plays Travis in the Hannah Montana Movie

4) However, as Miley settles down, she starts to realize that life is not worth living for materialistic items but rather for the love presented by family and friends. However, the major disappointment that I will face is the inevitable existence of a suave and charming protagonist that will never fail to sweep Miley off her feet.

As the cash rolls in by the bundle, that victory sign is surely appropriate.

5) The movie will end with Miley being in a dilemma: to choose staying at Tennessee permanently or returning to her ordinary life. She will eventually stay in Tennessee, deciding that it was time she got rid of her double life and start being just Miley.

Hail the controversial photo of Miley poking fun at the stereotypical slit-eyed Asian.

As this writer is not a fan of Miley Cyrus whom I think lacks originality and fail to bring a breath of fresh air to the plate as an entertainer, I predict the movie will be of a major letdown. However, as seen by the enormous amount of money the movie has reeled in from the U.S, the movie might be a hit amongst the younger generation in Singapore. Although I like to believe that the spike in ratings is due to the existence of critics like me, Miley Cyrus is indeed the hot talk of the town. Yes, the controversial photo of Miley Cyrus poking fun at the stereotypically slit-eyed Asian will not affect her from reeling in all the cash her Asian fans are willing to ‘waste’ on her. Forbes magazine ranked her #35 on "The Celebrity 100" list with earnings of over US$25 million in 2008. The Miley Cyrus mania is not ending any sooner but it is only the beginning for her.

Written by Diyanna