The comical side of 'footbrawl'

The English Premier League is a battleground for England’s finest teams in terms of football skills, mind games and tactical knowledge. Once in a while, the league also has its moments when the players decide to go head on in a physical brawl to show off their pugilistic skills, leaving the spectators aghast. Such brawling could come up at any time, especially in a highly charged match between two rivals with their pride at stake.

Take for example last December where Arsenal took on host Chelsea at the Stamford Bridge. It was a clash between two of England’s best teams and both teams knew that they could not afford to lose. However, certain players decided that they should have their own personal brawling space in the 63rd minute. It was a Lehmann vs. Drogba show and it became a rather hilarious affair for the spectators. The scene also horrified football traditionalists who see two very well established athletes engaging in a schoolboy tussle watched by millions of people.

It all began when Drogba fell in the penalty box while trying to take the ball from a corner kick. When the referee did not blow the whistle for a penalty, he acted hysterically, waving his hands up and down to protest the decision. Lehmann got irritated and as Drogba retreated from the penalty box, he gave the Chelsea striker a shove in the back. This obviously provoked Drogba into action too as he got up, went back to Lehmann, and gave him a chest shove. Lehmann responded by falling down theatrically as if he got blasted by a shotgun! The referee saw the drama between the two players and stopped play immediately. At that point, it looked as if red cards were going to be issued as all the players started swarming the referee with the fans making a lot of noise in the background. In the end, both players escaped only with yellow cards.

However, rolling back the years, not many were that fortunate to escape with yellow cards only. Some got marching orders from the referee. Roy Keane received the red card for giving Alan Shearer a slap on the face a couple of years ago. Keane had a confrontation with Shearer just as the referee was going to book him for an offence. All of a sudden, Keane lashed out with a slap at Shearer when Shearer attempted to advise him. The magnitude of the slap was so tremendous that Keane actually knocked the yellow card out of the referee's hand. With no hesitation, the referee pulled out the red card, much to the delight of the St James Park crowd. The story does not end there as Keane totally lost his cool after that. He showed his Irish thug self as he attempted another swipe at Shearer, only to be held back by David Beckham to prevent the United captain from being out of action for a few more games.

It is understandable that players from opposing teams would challenge each other on the field. How about having a wrestling match with your own teammate on the field? On April 2005, Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer from Newcastle United became sparring partners in front of their own fans! At that match, Newcastle was already in a very bad way at the 80th minute. 0-3 down to Aston Villa on home ground with one man sent off. Then, the unthinkable happened. Dyer and bad boy Bowyer started fighting and wrestling each other as the other astonished players rushed to the scene to pull both of them apart. The whole stadium crowd was shocked, with the BBC commentator exclaiming “Goodness me! What on earth is going on? I have never seen such a thing!” The whole affair was tremendously embarrassing for Newcastle which just totally self-destructed that night. Bowyer’s shirt was torn badly and even the Villa players were stunned. Both Bowyer and Dyer were sent off, leaving Newcastle with only 8 men to play the remaining 10 minutes. With that, it was no surprise that Bowyer and Dyer were savaged by the English media after the match.

Such comical moments show that the English Premier League is not just about serious stuff all the time. So, the next time you see a brawl on the field, have a good laugh! Every football player needs to have some fun in bringing out the kid in him once in a while. However, stay tuned to hear from the English FA too, which will also be glad to practice its parental role of wielding a cane to spank their naughty kids.

By: Stanley Lee